DAY 98: ECQ

For some it is already Day 100.  For me, it is Day 98.  But it does not matter.

What I know is that my world ... our world ... went on Pause Mode for more than three months.

That means three months of no work.  Three months of self-isolation in our homes with the singular intent of protecting ourselves from a lethal virus that has cause a shutdown to a great percentage of the planet.  Three months of not going out of the house (unless extremely necessary) and if and when that need arises ... showing one's self in public looking like a Star Wars character complete with face mask, face shield, gloves, shoe protectors and terrified/paranoid that the next human being who comes closer than three feet away will sputter droplets containing the lethal COVID19 and take you back to the Kingdom of God even when that was not yet part of your immediate plans.

Yes, even after close to 100 days I still feel paranoid.

What used to be an anticipated respite --- even a weekend adventure --- has become a major production number: that is doing the groceries.  Somehow it has become too much of a ritual, so much of a hassle to be gearing yourself up while carrying about a bottle of alcohol or hand sanitizer in your pocket, gasping for breath because when you wear these masks you are sniffing back the carbon dioxide you should be sending to plants with sweat dripping from your forehead because of your face shield.  And all because you wanted to buy a bag of spaghetti and a can of tomato sauce or maybe yet another roll of three ply toilet paper.

If you believe all the rumors floating around, then you would not only have turned into a paranoid but a misanthrope because of this pandemic.

Remember that we were all warned that you wear face masks to protect others from infection just in case you are carrying the virus and asymptomatic.

That is the biggest hassle of them all.  Them asymptomatics.  There is absolutely no way of telling whether somebody is carrying the virus and spreading it to anyone who gets on the way of his droplets emanated from his nose and mouth.  What is even more threatening is that some people with such impressive health may be infected but barely affected by the virus because they may have semblances of the genes of the Planet Krypto in their system.

So the point is that you better keep away from people.  Regardless of degree of familiarity or whether you share immediate or distant branches of a family tree, you still keep away from each other because nobody is safe.  You can only make yourself safer by avoiding all human contacts.  

I would have thought that bonding with animals in the absence of humans would be good enough (and, at times, even better) until news came out that even cats can be infected by COVID19.

Maybe that is what makes these past 98 or 100 days completely ... disorienting.

For more than three months a number of us have not seen our friends and relatives.  

Yes, we can Zoom and Skype ourselves until we actually believe that people are meant to be compartmentalized like Crossword Puzzle grids --- but that is the best that we can do.  And when quarantine was finally eased to get people back to work (and save what looks like an economy tail spinning then spiraling down to the infinity pits), there is no sufficient solution to the shortage of mass transportation to get people around.

As a grumpy friend of mine said, "How can we get around with social distancing in public transportation whereas in the 'old normal' it was already hard enough to get a ride ... ngayon pa with social distancing?"  

This also leads me to another frustration that even with the easing of the quarantine, I cannot completely reopen my office because I do not want to risk the health of my assistant who has to take the MRT from his place to our place of work.  Not only is that a death-defying trial to get on the train ... but the amount of waiting time is enough for anyone to beg for euthanasia even before you get aboard a coach.

Yes, I am still disoriented ... and maybe flabbergasted that it will almost be 100 days for me and I still do not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I do not know when I can see my friends and family again ... or when I can dine in a restaurant and have a good meal and a good laugh with my buddies without curtains of transparent plastic fluttering in between us so that we are safe from each other.  

I want to hug people again --- and not limit this predilection of mine to my Labrador retriever who has been hugged too many times she is beginning to keep away from me.  
Sige, I can do without the handshakes and maybe turn Japanese or Korean by replacing this with a gentle bow.  I can even do without the high fives --- but I want human contact again.

I want to be human again ... for this is what the virus has done to punish us.  We are kept away from each other.  We are being taught a lesson of how we took things so easily for granted.  And now that we must keep away from each other, we realize that there the privilege of human touch is priceless ... and necessary.

I want to be with people again.  I want to get back to work.

Perhaps I am wanting a world that will take so much time (especially here) to even create a semblance of sorts of the way it was.