THE YAYA DIARIES PART 1

Exactly a week before Christmas, one of my housekeepers asked the more senior of the helps if she could leave the house for a while.  She showed a bag of items she purchased at the garage sale held at the village clubhouse a few days before.  She said she was going to give these gifts to her husband and child who (without my knowledge) returned to Manila from Davao.

The older housekeeper naturally agreed, asking the yaya what time she would come back. I left the house early in the morning to spend the entire day until the earlier part of the night at work.  The yaya said that she would text back as to the exact time of her return. This the senior housekeeper found strange.  But she let her go anyway reminding her that she should be home before dinner.

The housemaid never returned.

No, she was not kidnapped or anything as dramatic as that.  She simply did not return.  She did a good and clean exit, left the village premises as she has most probably planned timing it with the approach of Christmas and, yes, after she has been given her 13th month salary at the start of December.  

I imagine that this was not a spur of the moment sort of thing.  She knew the date of arrival of her spouse and child, she had it all set out because she never asked permission from me that she would take a day off.  Although I have had her for almost a year, she was always quiet, unassuming and maybe a bit simpleminded in following instructions. 

But, as another friend would warn me, it is better that they are quiet and simple than too bright and atrebida. I never looked at it that way. What was important was that she did her job well and that she was honest. Or so I thought.

When I arrived in the evening and found out she left and has not yet returned I somewhat knew at the back of my mind that this woman made a getaway.  I cannot exactly call it a getaway because there was no reason to escape.  She texted the older housekeeper to say that she could not come home that night because no one was going to take care of her child.  If I had known this was her scenario, eh, di fine.

What right have I as a mere employer to deprive a child of his mother?  But what right has she too to just walk out on me, maiming my household a few days before Christmas when there was so much to do? I kept reviewing the past year she was under my roof and I do not remember any particular incident when I raised my voice, threw a tantrum or even berated her beyond the quiet gigil moments you have when the househelps blunder.  And this is what I get in return?

And, yes, I cannot repeat it enough. She waited for the thirteenth month salary to be handed to her before she decided to unceremoniously desert her post.

It is as if I had not learned my lesson through the years.

There was this housekeeper who used to be so good and such a terrific cook and who was with me for around eight years.  The only problem was that by the seventh year, she started behaving oddly --- like leaving my house when I left for work or taking things from the kitchen to bring home to her place in a nearby city (because she cooked well, remember?).  It took a new housemaid who was downright outspoken to tell me that she was being left all alone because an hour after I leave, the other maid also took her time off. 

During days when I was out of the house working on location or going on a vacation, my most trusted housemaid would also go off somewhere to the great beyond leaving my house to this new helper.

Or what about my driver of twelve years?  If there is anyone under your employ who is closest to you, then it would be the driver.  You are literally with him the whole day as he waits for you as you work or even in your residence.  He is the one who knows all the places you go to, all the people you meet and the sphere of activities you move within.  

I have had my share of insane drivers but this one made the ultimate benchmark.  Our twelve years of togetherness have made us close to each other as he had earned my careless trust and confidence. I would send him to the bank to deposit and encash checks as he had grown equally familiar with the tellers and other people who took care of my account.  So guess what?  One day I discovered that he was forging my signature, pulling checks from my book when I would leave my bag with him and encashing them at the bank where he was no longer questioned.

Fate had a way for me to find out his extra source of income. It would have been only fair and logical that I sent him to jail. But I cannot be bothered because what hurt more was the betrayal that took place and how the years of working together meant nothing to him or that was I was setting aside money for his wife's impending delivery of his third child.  

I should have known better.

When I posted my woes about the Case of the Disappearing Yaya as my Facebook shoutout, I was met with a chorus of responses.  Almost everybody had a horror story about housemaids nowadays.  As my Mama used to say when she was still around, "Iba na sila ngayon. (They are so different now.)"  It all boils down to a sense of entitlement because they think you cannot do without them ... and they sincerely believe they have you by the balls.

You learn to be patient, to endure their shortcomings thinking that they have hard lives to leave their families and tend to your kitchen and dirty clothes and toilet.  You give them that extra mile because you want them to feel that they have a part in your life because you let them enter your bedroom, you let them smell your clothes --- and cook your meals.  But apparently only very few appreciate that nowadays.

A friend recounted how her maid stole her son's toys as well as the Christmas gifts being delivered to her house, either shipped to the home province or given to the anonymous boyfriend who would emerge from the shadows when Kuya and Ate are not home.  

Another celebrity friend had this story about a maid working for her for two years suddenly saying goodbye. The yaya said that her relatives have finally pooled resources for her to go back to school. The employer was happy for her ... letting her go with wishes of good luck. But then what? She later found out that the maid was working for another celebrity and definitely not enrolled in any educational institution.

Oh, we can go on and on.  Suddenly the thread on my Facebook account spilled over with all sorts of horror stories about maids disappearing without notice (apparently a modus operandi that has been around and occurring during the summer and Yuletide seasons), cases of theft or celebrations of grand stupidity like using Joy Dishwashing Liquid for taking a shower. Dios mio!

Nowadays it is more of a big, big exception to find decent help who will treat you with a sense of civility.  Yet there is this cloud looming above your head after a while, after a series of not so pleasant, heart-crushing experiences doubting the sincerity and credibility of people under your domestic employment.  There was a time when length of service was voucher enough for the credibility of a maid ... but nowadays that principle seems to be outdated.

My cousin had a housemaid for twenty years ... somebody whose face I remembered since way back when. It was only a few months ago when she found out that this woman was not being completely honest with her. Or my nephew who had a most efficient and loyal driver --- whose only problem was that he could not keep his zipper padlocked when maids were around. What the f--!

I am now tempted to follow what so many of my friends have advised me before: simplify and downsize. Live a life that is not high or mid-maintenance.  Choose a life where you can do the cleaning and find ways of having good food delivered if you are no chef-wannabe in your kitchen. Better yet, redesign your life --- because Jean Paul Sarte must be thinking of house helps when he said that hell is other people.

I asked my Facebook friends to share more Yaya Horror Stories.

A friend of mine from Berkeley said she had none.  She has a vacuum cleaner and a sweeper.  She owned a washing machine, a dryer and a dishwasher: nobody walks out on her without notice. And these household appliances do not require a thirteenth month salary or SSS Contributions.  Point well taken.